Monday, June 7, 2010

Queen Awesome's Adventures in Cancerland: World 4

The day of the surgery arrived and I had to be at the hospital for 9 am. When I was called in I was taken into one of the minor surgery rooms. The first nurse I had was okay. She was polite enough but kind of distant. She left the room and the second nurse came in. She was amazing! I was upset and she was amazing at recognizing my fear and also trying to calm and distract me. We talked about purses (haha) and she was very reassuring. I told her about my severe fear of needles and she was so understanding. Linda was a phenomenal nurse. I am so thankful to have had her with me. When Dr Baliski came in, my usual uncontrollable shaking began. Over the years I’ve gotten much better with needles (seriously, I have!!) but I still shake like crazy. It’s a hell of an all over workout, but not one that I’d like to do often!! Dr Baliski took a look at my arm and had me position myself on the bed. We made small talk at first, an attempt at distraction, before the topic of cancer came up. He began to tell me what would happen should the tests come back positive for cancer. His descriptions of the next steps were very detailed. This was another red flag for me. I thought to myself, it wasn’t likely that he’d go into so much detail if he didn’t feel this was cancer. The procedure took about 30 minutes to complete. Once it was done and I was stitched up, Linda put a dressing on my arm while Dr Baliski gave me my options. He told me that he doesn’t phone with results, so I had to call him in 2 weeks if I wanted to know. He said some patients didn’t like to know and he couldn’t keep track. Didn’t want to know?! Who wouldn’t want to know?! I agreed that I would phone him on June 1st for my results. It was going to be a loooooong 2 weeks.

As the time went by, the wait got easier. When I left the hospital after the removal biopsy, I was certain it was going to be bad news. As the time past, I began to feel more confident that I was going to be okay. I started to think back to when I had the mole burned off and how certain that doctor was that it was nothing to worry about. I convinced myself that it was just a mole and that this was all going to be over. After all, Dr Bobyn also would have gotten the results, and from past experience I knew he’d call me right away if it was bad news. So I woke up the morning of June 1st still slightly nervous but confident that I was getting the results I wanted.

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